Matilda! I love this story. I felt like I was sitting next to you during your 2:30am musings and found your story so relatable. I'm co-editor of a new-to-Medium publication called Three Imaginary Girls. We write about indie music and also have a big focus on musical memoir. We'd love to add your story to our publication, if you're willing, and if you'd like to write more for us that would be cool as well. Let me know if you're interested and if so, I can add you as a writer. Thanks! https://medium.com/three-imaginary-girls