Okay “Sir Love,” you Gentleman of Amorous Disposition, you. So what if my child is sexually active? Women (and girls, as my child still is) deserve to feel safe in public spaces. An old man visibly sexualizing a teenager is gross. I’m not saying not to look at her. We all are free to observe others, of course, and to appreciate attractive people.

But men need to recognize it’s possible to look without drawing notice. They can admire without leering. All the middle aged men with daughter I know manage to accomplish this without a problem. Most of them seem perfectly capable of not leering at attractive women in the workplace. But when it comes to a very young woman/older child in the wild, there’s often no discretion. And that’s not acceptable.

It’s doubly troubling at a time when the election of the next president has unleashed the frenzy of “your body, my choice” creeps, alongside the repeal of abortion in so many states. Women feel like prey, and it’s not hard to see why, to recognize how little recourse there would be should the leer escalate to something more dangerous. And if the #MeToo movement taught us nothing else, it showed how nearly every woman by a certain age has experienced that sort of escalation.

You think it’s fine to just objectify women and look as you please? My daughters and I don’t. Hopefully this story helps explain why, to many. If not, I cannot help or change you.