Thanks for your thoughtful response here, Justin. I know this is a nuanced article and I appreciate you calling out what might not have been clear and your question is making me consider my “little words” and potential biases.

I think there are two distinctions here—the parts and the person. In terms of parts, that’s pretty clear for me. All of my sexual experience had been with cis male partners. I’ve never been drawn to explore otherwise. So, I’m both attracted to men, and to penises. Trans women are women. I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman, or a man with a vagina.

Is this the way I was made (nature), versus the way and time when I was raised (nurture)? That’s an interesting question and my answer is, probably mostly the former and also a bit of the latter. Perhaps if I were just coming of age now, my path would have been different. But also, I’m in my 50s and I feel confident in my body with the choices I’ve made. This doesn’t make me transphobic—it’s just me, being true to my own sexuality.

I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that a trans person could come along to challenge my sexuality. I think the odds are low, and that even if this happened, it would be a LOT for the trans person to take on, which would be a hardship on them. I’d imagine many trans people have to take on this burden and can only guess how challenging this must be.

As part of being an ally, I think it’s important to have nuanced conversations like this, so I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. My viewpoint is that we’re in an active state of cultural shift, and the gap occurs right between my generation and my kids’. It’s a fascinating (and also challenging) time and with the culture wars raging against trans folks, it’s hard to connect for real conversation.

Ok, now I must return to my day job. Thanks again!