A romantic idealist reckons with finding — and then losing — Mr. Not-Quite-Right — “I don’t want this,” my boyfriend said to me, stone-faced. We’d spent five glorious months together, my heart on fire. Then on my birthday, he picked our first fight. I apologized, halfway broken, baffled, in tears, and then told him I loved him, for the first (and only) time. He…

Five things every parent should do when their kid comes out — Before I begin, I have a quick quiz for you, dear reader: Are you a Don’t-Say-Gay Floridian? Do you support blocking access to gender-affirming care for kids? Are you one of the seven Kappa Kappa Gamma members suing their transgendered sister? If you’re answered “yes” to any of these — or if you identify as any flavor of right-wing nutjob nonsense —…

So you just like… parts??!? — My favorite place to talk to my teen is the car It’s late afternoon, it’s sunny, and I’m driving across town with my then 14-year-old. She’s picking the tunes (Mitski and Taylor Swift, our favorites) and we’re rocking out. She loves DJing on long drives. I love it too. Because driving time is the very best time to connect with my…

Happy Father’s Day to my Dad, who has no idea what day it is. — Every childhood friend of mine is terrified of my Dad, to this day. Standing over six feet tall and barrel-chested — and as verbally aggressive as any type-A Boomer from the Bronx could be — my Dad reigned over my childhood home, a tyrant in his own domain. A classic (though not isolated) example: my tenth birthday party. I had a gaggle of…

Please stop asking me. — It’s Giving Tuesday. And I am depleted. Today is the day to focus on generosity, to giving to others. This manifests with every single non-profit or charity I’ve ever supported (and many I haven’t) to hit me up for more. I have nothing more to give, literally and metaphorically. The…

A case for giving family some credit for trying — even if they don’t always succeed. — When my youngest child came out as genderfluid just before their 11th birthday, they changed their name and pronouns. Annika became Nico, and she became they. Thankfully, our friends and community around here had no issues. We live in a liberal blue bubble, and some days, it seems more tweens…

This Gen X mama was happy to oblige. — I used to live under an indie rock I came of musical age to “alternative” music and never looked back. I spent the 2000s running a local Seattle indie music website called Three Imaginary Girls, so I could — and at some point, most certainly will — regale you with tales of Barsuk and Subpop Record bands, as…

Yes, my first concert was Van Halen. They set the bar extremely high. — Young Dana was always musically motivated. My baby book — yes literally, the pink puffy baby book my mother painstakingly updated with the dates of my first words and steps, including a lock of hair from my first haircut — includes “record player” as my favorite toy. I was born this way, and have never faltered. …

On advice, families, International Pronouns Day, and more — Hello, friends of Pink Hair & Pronouns! My first update is small but exciting, at least to me. Pink Hair & Pronouns has our own official URL outside Medium! You can visit pinkhairandpronouns.com to see for yourself. Of course PHAP is still fueled by Medium and remains a Medium publication…